No Turning Back
by Peneia Teke
Summary: Gary Oak had been in love with Ash Ketchum for the better part of fourteen years.  Unfortunately, it took Ash eleven years to recognize Gary's feelings, two years to realize his own, and one year to act on them.


**Peneia Teke**: Hi! This is my first time writing for the Pokémon fandom. I've been a fan of the series since it first aired, but I stopped watching it after Misty left. My favorite character has always been Gary, but I never thought he and Ash would make a good couple until a couple months ago. Now, I'm kind of addicted, haha.

I've watched bits and pieces of the series up until Pokémon Black and White, but I'm no expert on the later seasons, so please let me know if something seems completely wrong. Also, I think it's ridiculous that Ash is still ten years old after thirteen years, so I made up my own timeline:

Ash traveled with Misty and Brock for two years, with May for one year, and with Dawn for one year.

I think that's about it. Please enjoy!

* * *

><p>Gary Oak had been in love with Ash Ketchum for the better part of fourteen years, a concept that had eluded Ash for most of his young life. It took him several years to realize his own feelings and even longer to act on them since nothing about Gary had ever really made sense to him. Their relationship had always been rocky, even back when they were friends, and their pokémon rivalry only furthered the rift between them. Several years of growth and maturity helped them settle into something in-between, but their relationship was one that could never be labeled. Of course, Gary had never been the easiest individual to figure out, notwithstanding his blunt and often hurtful criticism of Ash's skills. Criticism that was planted to garner specific reactions from him, Ash later learned.<p>

Ash first began to realize that he and Gary might have something more than just a rivalry between them at the Pokémon Center in Celadon City. Having gotten caught up in a thunderstorm, Ash's clothes were soaked through, and he stopped to peel off his jacket once they were inside, hanging it over his arm. Misty pointed out that Gary was at the counter, collecting his pokémon from Nurse Joy. Ash called out to him, and he turned around and froze when he saw Ash, completely ignoring his two companions. Gary gave him a quick once over before strutting over and stopping just a little too close.

"Hiya, Ashy-boy," Gary said with a cocky grin. "Funny meeting you here."

"What's funny about it?" Ash demanded, "As soon as this rain stops, I'm gonna head for the Celadon Gym to earn my next badge!"

"Heh. Then looks like you're one step behind, as usual," Gary said, showing off a glittering Rainbow Badge.

"What? You already beat Erika?" Ash said, trying to lean forward to get a better look without seeming too impressed. Unfortunately, the attempt failed.

"Sure did," Gary said. "I'll warn you that they don't like getting challenges from guys. Though with your scrawny physique," he said, pointedly eyeing Ash up and down, "you'd probably have no trouble passing for a girl." His gaze lingered on Ash for another beat before he smirked and turned away.

"Hey! Take that back, I'm no girl!" Ash shouted, catching the attention of everyone in the Pokémon Center.

"Don't worry, Ash," Gary replied smugly over his shoulder. "Some guys just take a little longer to grow. You'll catch up eventually."

Ash had been about to respond, but Brock held him back before he could make a move toward Gary, and he watched his rival until he disappeared out the door, completely unfazed by the rain. For some reason, their interaction had left him feeling as exposed as it did angry.

* * *

><p>The first time Gary kissed Ash was right after a pokémon battle. Ash wandered away from the campsite in the middle of the night to take a leak in the woods and ran into Gary on his way back. Surprised to see his rival, Ash immediately demanded they have a pokémon battle. The only pokémon he had on hand at the time was Squirtle, which lost to Gary's Arcanine. Gary, predictably, made a few snide comments to which Ash responded in obvious outrage. Then Gary grinned and walked over to him as he said, "No need to take it so personally, Ash. You're just so easy to get riled up." To Ash's horror and astonishment, Gary threw an arm around his shoulders and reached down to kiss the top of his head. Ash naturally assumed that Gary's behavior was just another ploy to get under his skin, so he shrugged off Gary's arm dramatically and reached up to fluff his hair back into place in irritation. Gary chuckled and walked off, leaving Ash to gawk after him in outrage. He decided not to mention their meeting to Misty and Brock.<p>

* * *

><p>The first time Ash became aware of his own attraction to Gary was during a brief respite back in Pallet Town during his Johto journey. He, Misty, and Brock had gone to visit Professor Oak at his lab, and they spent the next hour sharing stories about their pokémon adventures. Eventually, Professor Oak mentioned that his grandson was also visiting for a few days, and Ash wandered out back to look for him. He found Gary working in the garden with some of Professor Oak's grass pokémon.<p>

"Hi, Gary," Ash said, walking up behind him. "I didn't know you were home too."

Gary glanced at him over his shoulder. "Oh, hey, Ash," he said, turning around to face him. "Just got home yesterday. How's it going?" It was a hot, muggy day in June, and Gary had chosen to wear a white t-shirt in favor of staying cool. His face was sweaty from the physical labor, and his spiky hair hung in his eyes. He brushed the wayward strands back in one smooth motion.

Ash suddenly found himself at a loss for words as he stared at Gary's well toned body, obvious even under the shirt. His stomach lurched uncomfortably. "Uh. I just got home yesterday too—Er, I mean tonight. _Today_."

Gary had noticed Ash staring at him and lifted an eyebrow in amusement. "You sure about that?"

"Sure about what?" Ash asked dazedly. When the question sank in his eyes widened and he felt a blush creep up his neck. "Oh, right. Yeah." He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. When had Gary become so damn distracting?

Gary was still watching him with an odd expression Ash couldn't quite place, something between amusement and exasperation. "Come on," he said suddenly, walking toward Ash. "Let's get you inside before the heat fries what's left of your brain."

Ash made a weak protest but allowed Gary to guide him back toward the laboratory. Their shoulders brushed as they walked, and every once in a while the tips of their fingers would touch, but neither made an attempt to move away.

* * *

><p>The first time Ash realized he may have a tiny, little crush on Gary was the day before the Fireworks Festival in Lily Cove City the next summer. The gang had decided to go to the beach after a morning of sightseeing and had brought out a picnic lunch with them. They'd been lounging around on blankets, sipping Cokes and eating sandwiches when Brock turned to Ash and said, "Hey, isn't that Gary over there?"<p>

"Where?" Ash immediately sat up straighter and glanced around, finally spotting Gary amongst the crowd. He was wearing sunglasses, but his hair was unmistakable. "Yeah, it is," Ash said in surprise. "Hang on. I'll be right back."

"Do you want us to save you a sandwich?" May asked, gesturing to the basket.

"Yeah, sure," Ash said, standing up and brushing the sand off his swim trunks. "Thanks, guys." He wound his way through the other beachgoers until he reached Gary, who was basking in a lounge chair.

Gary turned his head toward Ash and peered at him over the rim of his sunglasses. "Well, if it isn't my favorite trainer from Pallet. What a surprise to see you here."

"Yeah, same here," Ash said, tilting his head curiously. "I thought you were a researcher now?"

"That's right," Gary confirmed. "I'm doing some field work in the Hoenn Safari Zone, but a friend invited me to Lily Cove for the Fireworks Festival. What about you?"

"We're here for the festival too. My friend, May, is a Pokémon Coordinator, so we decided to stay here a couple days, so she can compete in the contest."

The corner of Gary's mouth turned up in a smirk, and he leaned back against his chair. "Still at it, then, eh?" Ash nodded and Gary chuckled, casually crossing an ankle over his knee. "That's good," he said, "One of us needs to carry the title of Pokémon Master." Ash felt his chest flutter at Gary's words and shifted his weight awkwardly, glancing briefly at his rival again in what he hoped was a subtle gesture. The way his ankle was casually resting on his knee gave Ash a clear view of his crotch. He turned his head away and glanced down at the sand, berating himself for trying to sneak a peek at Gary, for God's sake! It was like his eyes were drawn to him, even though he knew it was wrong. He liked girls, after all… But if he turned his head just right, he could almost see down the legging of Gary's swim trunks.

"Like what you see, Ashy-boy?" Gary mocked quietly.

"What?" Ash said defensively, feeling a flush creep up his neck. "I do not! What the hell, Gary?" His outburst attracted some curious stares, and he lowered his voice so only Gary could hear. "I like _girls_, okay?"

Gary shrugged and folded his arms behind his head, not the least bit concerned about modesty. "Sounds like you're trying pretty hard to convince me. You know what they say about the loudest denial?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

They stared at each other for a tense moment. "Ah, relax, Ashy. I was just messing with you," Gary said with a grin. "God, all this time and you're still so easy."

"Shut up, Gary," Ash grumbled. "_You're_ the only one who can get to me like this."

"As it should be," Gary said, suddenly standing up and taking a step forward. "Well, it was great seeing you, again, but I should probably get going." He put his hand on Ash's shoulder and squeezed it. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, you too, Gary," Ash said, reaching up to grab his friend's hand. They stood that way for a moment or two until Gary pulled away with a nod and turned to fold up his lounge chair. Ash watched him walk up the beach and across the road until he disappeared from view.

* * *

><p>The first time Ash fully realized his feelings for Gary was three days before the Lily of the Valley Conference in the Sinnoh Region. It had been a year since he'd seen him in Lily Cove City, but Gary was constantly on his mind. Ash was in the Pokémon Center in Lily of the Valley City, registering for the conference when a voice on the television caught his attention.<p>

"Look, Gary's on TV!" he exclaimed to Brock and Dawn, dropping his registration form on the desk. Gary was being interviewed about a discovery he'd made while working with Professor Rowan, and though Ash couldn't quite follow what was being said, he was overwhelmed with pride, and a surge of affection hit him so hard it literally made his chest ache. He realized then and there that he cared for Gary in a way that went well beyond friendship. It was like the revelation brought a new light to his perspective of Gary, and he realized how much of an influence his friend had on his life.

Every time Gary went somewhere new, Ash decided he needed to go too. Whenever Gary insulted him or criticized his training style, Ash's entire day was ruined. A kind word from Gary could put him in a good mood for days. It was Gary's opinion that mattered to Ash, no one else's. At some point Ash's entire world had begun revolving around him, but these feelings had come on so slowly that Ash hadn't recognized them for what they were. At that moment, Ash longed to see him, to tell him what he'd come to realize, but as he looked up at Gary's face on the screen, he knew the researcher would want him to focus all his energy on the upcoming tournament. And that was what he planned to do.

* * *

><p>Three weeks after the Lily of the Valley Conference, Ash received a post card from Gary congratulating him on his achievements. Although he didn't win, placing in the top four was still something to be proud of. Gary also invited him to come to Sandgem Town for a visit where Professor Rowan was more than happy to let him stay at his research lab.<p>

Ash sent him a call that afternoon, plans were arranged, and he found himself, once again, in the company of his former rival. The two friends had decided to take a walk around the property, and Gary was bringing Ash up to speed on his most recent discovery. "It's an exciting project to be part of," Gary said, gesturing animatedly with his hands. "The tunnels crisscross for miles, and they're largely unexplored. Just think, there could be dozens of undiscovered pokémon down there."

"That's great, Gary," Ash said with a smile. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks, Ash." They walked in companionable silence for a few minutes. The shadows had grown long, and the sun was just starting to sink behind the horizon. "This is my favorite time," Gary said suddenly, staring up at the fading pinks and oranges. "This'll probably sound weird, but I always thought I could feel a pause right before the sun set. Like time had just… stopped. I thought that if I listened hard enough I'd hear a pulse, like a heartbeat, setting time back into motion."

"Wow, Gary," Ash said, glancing sideways at him. "That doesn't really sound like you."

The researcher chuckled and rubbed his neck in embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess it's kinda weird. I've never told anyone that before. Hey, come on, I want to show you something, kay?"

"Okay." Ash followed him onto a well worn path through the woods. They wound around for several minutes until Gary finally led them out into an open field. Several grassy banks sloped down into an acre sized pond. There was a sandy beach on the left side of the pond that didn't appear to be natural.

"Professor Rowan built this two years ago to attract water pokémon," Gary explained as if sensing Ash's curiosity.

"It's really cool," Ash said, gazing around at the patches of wildflowers. "I bet the pokémon love it here."

They walked around to the sandy bank and sat down on some rocks. Darkness had set in around them, and the stars shone brightly overhead. Gary took off his socks and shoes and put his feet in the water. Ash wanted to say something, but everything he'd wanted to tell Gary before now felt impossibly daunting. They'd finally begun to understand each other, again. What if he ruined it by telling him his true feelings? Ash glanced over at Gary, who was staring out at the water. He was sitting close enough to him to feel his body heat, but he didn't seem bothered by it, so Ash didn't bother moving.

"Hey, Ash?" Gary said softly, still looking out at the water. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"You're awfully quiet over there to be thinking about nothing. Tell me?" It was more a plea than a demand, and Ash realized that this was his chance to tell Gary everything. It was now or never.

"I was thinking about you, actually," Ash said, glancing at Gary out of the corner of his eye. Gary didn't look at him, but Ash noticed his shoulders drop slightly. He didn't know if that was a good or bad sign.

"What about me?" he asked not unkindly. There was no judgment in his tone, only curiosity.

"I don't know, Gary, I just-" he faltered, at a loss of what to say. He finally settled with, "You've always been an inspiration to me. You're an important friend."

He sensed Gary tense next to him and instantly knew that wasn't what he'd wanted to hear, but Ash had lost his nerve. At least this way he could still hope, rather than have his feelings thrown back at him. He could still pretend that Gary felt the same way he did.

"Thanks, Ash. You're important to me too."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Ash was lying in bed with Pikachu asleep next to his pillow. It was nearly 2:30 in the morning, but he couldn't sleep. He was frustrated with himself for not being honest with Gary. Why couldn't he just tell him how he felt? Why was it so hard? After a couple more minutes of tossing and turning, he finally gave up and got out of bed, careful not to wake Pikachu. He padded quietly out into the hall and toward the room at the end, which he knew Gary was currently residing in. He didn't know what he was doing, but he knew he had to do something now or he'd regret it for the rest of his life. The door was already open a crack, so Ash pushed it open a little wider and slipped inside, standing in the doorway as he allowed his eyes time to adjust to the dark. He saw Gary's form, a lump under the covers, though he didn't seem to be sleeping well either and rolled over to face Ash. For a moment, Ash thought he was still asleep, but then Gary raised his head. "Ash?" he whispered, sitting up more fully.<p>

Ash felt that overwhelming sense of affection as he walked over and sat down on the edge of Gary's bed. "Gary," he breathed, reaching out to touch his face. Gary tensed, but after a moment, he put his hand on Ash's arm, caressing his skin with his thumb. The sensation sent a sharp tingle through Ash's entire body. Without stopping to think, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Gary's in a chaste, quick kiss that sent his nerves singing. When they broke apart, Gary stared down at him, his breathing slightly uneven. "Gary," Ash said again, feeling his voice quiver. "I want you so much. I can't stop thinking about you. When you're around, it's like," he paused, trying to find the right words. "It's like nothing else matters. No one else matters." Now that the flood gates had opened, there was no stopping the flow of words spilling from Ash's mouth. "I've… I've never… You're the only one I've ever felt this way about. I thought maybe I was just attracted to you, physically attracted to you, but it's much more than that. I want everything about you." He paused to take a breath and plunged on. "Whatever this is, I know it's something real."

For a long moment, neither of them spoke. The only sound was their uneven breathing. Finally, just when Ash was beginning to think he'd made a mistake, Gary said, "I've loved you since we were kids." Ash stiffened in surprise, but Gary's grip tightened around his arm as if to keep him from getting up and leaving. "Ash. I always thought… you never really seemed interested, so I never allowed myself to hope, but…" He stared down at Ash as if not quite believing and then leaned down to crush their mouths together. Ash responded eagerly, moving his lips against Gary's with as much passion as he could muster, trying to keep up. Gary wrapped his hand around Ash's neck and pulled him into his chest, deepening their kiss. Ash squeaked in surprise but submitted to Gary's control, latching onto his shirt like a lifeline. When they broke apart, again, they were close enough to feel each other's breath, tickling their skin. Ash leaned against Gary and buried his face into his neck.

He could feel laughter rumbling through Gary's chest and felt a twinge of annoyance. He thought this was funny? "You know why I always teased you so much, Ash? I just wanted your attention."

Ash glanced up at him in surprise. "Really? All that time?"

"Yeah, I got a rush whenever we fought because you gave me your full attention. I always loved the way you looked at me, even if it was only because I was pissing you off."

Ash snorted and pulled away from him. "And here I only ever wanted your approval."

"Yeah, I knew that too. I guess I was afraid that if I was nice to you all the time, you'd eventually stop seeking me out. Fighting with someone leaves more of an impression."

"I guess," Ash replied, "but I would have liked it more if you were always nice to me."

"I'll keep that in mind," Gary grinned. Ash leaned into him again and put a hand on his peck muscles, then slid his fingers down along his abs, fiddling with the edge of his shirt. "I always knew you had a thing for my body," Gary said smugly, reaching out to grab Ash's hand.

"Yeah, well," Ash said, rolling his eyes playfully. "I never wanted to admit it, but you're sexy as hell."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Ash stifled a laugh and smiled despite himself. It occurred to him that no matter what happened between them, Gary would always be Gary. The cocky trainer from Pallet Town. The thought comforted him somehow. "So what happens now?" Ash asked. "You have your research, and I have my training. Where does that leave us?"

Gary shrugged and absently brushed Ash's hair out of his face. "We don't have to put a label on our relationship. Why don't we just see where this thing goes?"

"Okay," Ash said. "I'll definitely keep you posted on my travels."

"And you'll be the sound board for my research projects," Gary said, smirking down at him. "It's a big responsibility. You sure you're up for it?"

"Of course, I am," Ash said as his competitive side kicked in. "I'm ready for anything."

"So do you know what you're doing next?" Gary asked.

"Yeah," Ash said after a thoughtful pause. "I'm thinking of heading to the Unova Region."

"I've heard some pretty rare pokémon live over there," Gary replied. "I wouldn't mind taking a trip out there myself sometime."

"You should," Ash said with a grin. "We could meet up." He suddenly yawned widely and covered his mouth with his hand. "So, uh, I was thinking," he said, glancing down at the sheets. "I don't need to leave _right_ now. You think Professor Rowan would let me stay another week?"

Gary grinned and wrapped an arm around Ash's head, kissing his forehead in an exaggerated display of affection. "I think we can work something out."

* * *

><p><strong>Peneia Teke<strong>: Well, thanks for reading. I felt like Ash and Gary would be very anti-fluff, so I tried to keep that to a minimum. That, and I'm not very good at writing "cutsy" scenes, so yeah. Kudos to anyone who caught the reference to the movie, _Walking Across Egypt_.

Comments and Critiques would be very much appreciated!


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